Say No To Happiness.

Hey Yo,
I'm back like the terminator only less robotic and obscenely violent.

So I was watching the television the other day, and yet another one of those Enzyte/Viagra/Lunesta/"insert new and flashy and less than essential prescription drug brand-name here" commercials whizzed across my screen. I had the tv muted because as you probably know, advertising is one of my least favorite things. (Someday I will write that song, Least Favorite Things.) Anywhoo, the imagery in these ads is insidious and quite disturbing, and I'll tell ya why.

The shots are always of men or women smiling and laughing, frolicking about in a sea of wildflowers or hugging on a beautiful sunset beach. They always seem so goddamn happy. So goddamn happy to be on a drug. The imagery is specifically designed to convey the following message, "Take this drug and you will be happy. This drug will solve your problems."

Sometimes they go for the before and after tactic.

"See how miserable and un-sexy this guy is? He took our drug and now look at him! See how he wields those phallic symbols? See how pretty his ladyfriend is? Take this drug and this could be you! Just one dose of Curitall, and you'll be prancing gayly about in a picturesque meadow arm in arm w/babe in in no time!"

So kids see these commercials. I know because they are on during prime-time baseball playoffs, which now feature animated segments explaining various intricacies of the game. These segments are of course, directed at children.

Here's the problem. A child first learns "Say No to Drugs." Then he/she goes home, enjoys a nice supper and turns on the tube to watch the game. And in between innings watches men and women having the time of their lives! Fucking on a majestic snow-covered mountain top while a bald eagle soars gracefully above as Pachebell's Canon swells in the background and rose petals drift down in the glorious glorious sunset and all the while...all the while...MOMMY and DADDY look so goddamn HAPPY ON DRUGS!

These fucking advertisers might as well be whispering directly into the kid's ear...

"Say No to Happiness."

Peace
Marcus Singer

ps.
Anybody else sick of hearing both liberals and conservatives talking about how they don't want an "activist judge who legislates from the bench". Except for on the issue of abortion in which case "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Absolutely Fuck Yeah Yes! we want that person to get up there and legislate from the bench! In fact, if we're not absolutely positive they're gonna legislate from the bench how we want them to, they're not even gonna get a hearing."